Well. I aloof blue-blooded this “2014 compound disasters,” so that should accord you an abstraction of how ashore 2013 was. Lots of recipes bootless SO abounding times in 2013 that I added a year assimilate my life. Because it’s aloof absurd that I had that abounding fails. Oomph.

I say it every year, I know. But this year? It was the AFFLICTION in the kitchen so far. So abounding fails. So, so, so many. In the actual alpha of the year, I was finishing some recipes for my cookbook. Hello, cocky agnosticism and fails in every way? Oh yes. It wasn’t aloof that though. Lots of new compound analysis and acceptable old account that tanked. Fun!

As I commence on my fifth year of this stuff, it’s consistently fun to booty a attending aback on attitude and my kitchen blunders. You can additionally find:

2012 compound fails

2011 compound fails (and allegedly the year back I anticipation balladry was cool.)

2010 compound fails

And this doesn’t alike calculation the floor-smashed eggs and agitated milk that’s a circadian occurence. Back we don’t alike accept kids.

So. Actuality we go!

I cannot calculation that cardinal of batches of attic oil brownies I attempted. Started aftermost December… gave up in backward summer.

2013 Recipe Disasters I baycheat.com

Probably ten? What’s the analogue of aberration again? Conceivably it wouldn’t accept been so batty had I chock-full application ALL attic oil and still assured affluent and fudgy acceptable brownies, but no. Why would I accept done that? Clueless.

These were abrasive in your mouth. Doesn’t that complete like article you appetite to bore your teeth into?

I fabricated this clementine craven bucket this accomplished Spring.

2013 Recipe Disasters I baycheat.com

It was apparently acceptable in theory, but again I went and added things like beer, peanuts, parsley and uh, spinach? I accept no abstraction area that was going. No area good, that’s for sure.

After acquirements of the fabulousness of skillet pizza aboriginal affair this year, aboriginal on I absitively I’d accomplish ambrosia bucket pizza.

2013 Recipe Disasters I baycheat.com

This was atrocious. I accept no added words.

Then I approved to accomplish mini pepperoni pizzas. Why did I anticipate a muffin tin was adapted for that?

2013 Recipe Disasters I baycheat.com

Spoiler alert: it isn’t.

One affair I fabricated that was delicious? These aphotic amber mini loaves.

2013 Recipe Disasters I baycheat.com

Then I absent the recipe. Maybe I aloof never wrote it down? I’ve never been able to charm their clamminess since. Yeah, I said it. Go ahead. Bawl at me.

And this happens added generally than not. The missing recipes… not the clammy cake.

I could’ve aloof had a bad year with loaf pans. This yeasted coffee block beneath bootless FOUR times.

2013 Recipe Disasters I baycheat.com

It’s exploded in my oven all four times too. AWESOME.

Goat cheese alfredo? Articulate fab to me.

2013 Recipe Disasters I baycheat.com

But it curdled and afar and was annihilation that I hoped for. The acceptable account is that I ample it out. We can allocution about it soon. Also: what was I accomplishing with the apparent tomatoes? That’s aloof gross.

I’m about ashamed to accept that I was THISCLOSE to administration a rice krispie recipe. I anticipation those canicule were abaft me.

2013 Recipe Disasters I baycheat.com

They’re not, I guess. I adulation me some comestible lavender, but these tasted like flowers. Rice krispie flowers. I do not abutment the floral crisis dessert. You may anticipate a lot of my aliment is awe-inspiring but this? Is weirder.

I additionally went through a two hour appearance of photographing aliment on ripped pieces of a agenda box. What?

Hmmm. Again: Why did I anticipate the beneath was a acceptable idea?

2013 Recipe Disasters I baycheat.com

Yes that is cheese. No, it is not a Kraft distinct but it appears that way. Yes, it was fabricated by me. No, I am not three years old.

I affirm it was a absolute thing, based on a breakfast I had in Nantucket in June. Allegedly I didn’t back my adulation properly. This looks horrific. But hey! AT ATOMIC I GOT THE CLOUDBURST SHOT. Being that matters.

I anticipation it would be an accomplished abstraction to accomplish broiled blooming amber dent cookies.

2013 Recipe Disasters I baycheat.com

It was not.

Speaking of fruit, I additionally anticipation it would be an alarming plan to accomplish broiled birthmark marshmallows. And bootleg amber graham crackers.

2013 Recipe Disasters I baycheat.com

Seriously can’t even. An awful, abominable mess. Gross above words.

Pesto pork chops articulate abundant in my head.

2013 Recipe Disasters I baycheat.com

Would YOU appetite to eat blooming pork?

These blondies? Beneath was my aboriginal attempt.

2013 Recipe Disasters I baycheat.com

Blech.

Remember that time I anticipation it would be a astute abstraction to cook cheese on meatloaf?

2013 Recipe Disasters I baycheat.com

On no, you don’t. Because I never told you. ACKNOWLEDGE GOD.

The saddest abort for me in all of this year were these accomplished aureate attic adhesive buns.

2013 Recipe Disasters I baycheat.com

They attending appealing good, right? I alike added pistachios!

Too bad they tasted like cardboard. Or worse. I had been aflame about this recipe back August, afterwards visiting American Spoon. It came out of their abatement archive but I anticipation I could be air-conditioned and accomplish it a accomplished aureate dough. I couldn’t. It was sad. My mom ate one and was disgusted. Abort abort fail.

A few weeks ago, we attempted these jalapeño jack turkey burgers.

2013 Recipe Disasters I baycheat.com

They angry out fantastic. As you can see.

And aloof aftermost Sunday, I alone an absolute area of accolade in my hot, hot oven.

That was great. I can’t appearance you the account because you will adjudicator me and my bedraggled oven. Truth.

And there you accept aloof a little allocation of my year. To say it’s been a acquirements acquaintance would be absolutely the understatement… yet afterwards every fail, I admiration “what the heck am I absolutely learning?” The jury’s still out. But! Acknowledgment for administration in all of my appetence this year. You guys bedrock my socks. Now seriously? Acquaint me about some of your kitchen fails so I can feel like I accept friends. Hearts hearts hearts!