I am slooooowly advancing out of the two anniversary bairn haze!

Well. Wait.

That’s a lie. I am still in the bairn haze.

life with max: 2 weeks in I baycheat.com

{this is apparently my admired account of him ever}

Last night I said to Eddie that we should adjustment pizza. Again I said… oh but wait, we aloof had it three canicule ago. He’s like… Jess… no, we had it TEN canicule ago. Oh how my canicule are active together.

Honestly I accept no abstraction what day it is. Ever.

It’s killing me because I’m already missing this appearance that I’m in. I’m already cornball for the canicule that accept passed. And I accumulate cogent anybody that it’s not like I am not savoring every moment. If there is ONE affair I’m doing, it’s absolutely savoring every moment. I accept savored every moment back I’ve been home – and it’s STILL aerial by! I assumption this is what parenthood is, no? It’s killin’ me, smalls.

Right now, at this exact moment, I feel like this: I apperceive this date won’t aftermost forever. I apperceive it will fly by as it is already and that I will absence it and crave it for the blow of my life. At the aforementioned time, I feel like I will never be able to leave the abode abandoned afresh or alive my activity again. I told this to my mom who laughed absurdly and was all OMG I SO BETHINK THAT.

It’s crazy, but true.

life with max: 2 weeks in I baycheat.com

{I never beddy-bye but I’m consistently happy!}

These aftermost two weeks accept been a admirable whirlwind. God do I adulation this little asset so much. Eddie and I accumulate adage to anniversary added “how can we adulation him so much?!” We said it moments afterwards he was built-in and aloof afresh this morning.

I affirm everywhere we go (like, um, the doctor’s office?) it’s so accessible that we are aboriginal time parents because we aloof beam at him in awe. While he does amazing things like SLEEP. It’s like, attending at him sleeping! He is perfection!

And I’m absolutely the being who gave PICTURES OF MY KID in frames to bodies for Christmas. Ugh. I’m that person!! I don’t alike apperceive me.

The absurd adulation for him does not abruptness me, but let me acquaint you something. I never absolutely affirmed with my “bump” or the babyish in my belly, and it dead me the ABSOLUTE pregnancy. It didn’t alike appear abundant already he started to kick. I didn’t allocution about this in my abundance updates because 1. I’m abiding I was abashed of actuality advised in my massively hormonal accompaniment and 2. I didn’t alike appetite to put it in autograph because it bankrupt my affection so much. Alike appropriate afore he came out, I was afraid of how I would feel. I’ve apprehend that this is accepted but no one that I apperceive – not in absolute activity or affected online activity – has accomplished this. I was cool scared, but the moment he came out I aloof about died with cutting love.

I accept never apparent Eddie in this accompaniment before… EVER. You know, he is a cool rational person. Absolutely thinks with his arch about 99% of the time. Area I, on the added hand, almost ANYTIME anticipate with my arch (yeah, it’s true) and ALONE anticipate with my heart. This babyish has broiled him into a dabble and I accept never apparent annihilation like it. It’s the best admirable thing. Also, I’m absolutely now that babe that understands the accomplished “wait until you see your bedmate with your newborn…”

He’d be walking about the hospital allowance and I’d be like YOU ACCEPT NEVER LOOKED SO HOT IN YOUR LIFE.

It’s true. That’s a thing, apparently.

And it’s not like there is any denying: he is Eddie’s clone. Sometimes I attending bottomward at him and I’m like… dude, I’m captivation your dad. I accumulate allurement Eddie if it’s absurd to accept a son and one that looks aloof like you!? He tears up. Constantly.

life with max: 2 weeks in I baycheat.com

 {we absorb all day in bed…}

So absolute activity over the aftermost two weeks? It’s looked like this.

I went bristles accomplished canicule after one flash of sleep. I was alive the absolute night I was in labor (when I didn’t apperceive it) with him. The night he was born, I banned to beddy-bye because I couldn’t stop staring at him. Not because I was scared, but because I couldn’t accept that he was mine, that he was ours. I looked at him the absolute night. Best him up aloof to stare. The abutting night, he array fed for HOURS and I didn’t beddy-bye again. The aboriginal two nights home, we were aggravating to apprentice what was activity on and he was alive to eat so abundant and I was abashed to beddy-bye (still array of am) and no.sleep.happened.

It wasn’t until we’d been home for two canicule that I assuredly got a few hours, burst apart.

Is it crazy to say that I don’t mind? I charge accept been so aerial on adrenaline, but I additionally knew it wouldn’t be forever. And the alone time I started to absolutely lose it was back I was hungry. As continued as I was fed, I could deal.

Right now, I’m accepting about two to three hours a night, not consecutively. Who knew one could survive on this?

life with max: 2 weeks in I baycheat.com

{this is what I looked like at 3AM on day 4 of life}

Speaking on food, I AM STARVING. I am so agog and am bistro aggregate in afterimage and bubbler added baptize than ever. I’m anguish attic baptize like it’s activity out of style. For the aboriginal few days, Eddie would actually augment me while I fed Max and approved to get my bearings. I am talking like – authority my baptize canteen to my aperture and beanery augment me candy – blazon of thing. It was crazily vulnerable and perfect.

And speaking of feeding… I had no abstraction how abundant I’d adulation agriculture Max. Oh my god. I adulation agriculture him so much. It’s the acumen I don’t apperception actuality alive all night and day. For the aftermost two weeks we accept lived on the couch or in bed. We’ve watched endless Christmas movies and added debris on E! than I anytime anticipation possible. The aboriginal few canicule we were home, I was charwoman out paperwork and came beyond the little cardboard album they gave me at the hospital with bairn tips. It said article forth the curve of “breastfeeding is the aboriginal way a babyish learns to adulation its mother and it’s additionally the baby’s aboriginal acquaintance in amusement and happiness.” For some acumen this fabricated me COOK and I cried like a adolescent and it meant so abundant to me. Maybe because I adulation aliment and am aliment bedeviled – but seeing the “bonding moment” accounting out in words, the moment that I already was feeling, was aloof too abundant for me.

I am so beholden that this kid is bistro like a CHAMP. He latched within account and basically has never stopped. I am so beholden because it was a huge abhorrence of abundance – abounding accompany accept struggled with agriculture and in my accepted “worst case scenario” brain, I was assertive I would too. I am so, so beholden this is not the case. I accept had no issues yet, but I apperceive that they could still appear in the abutting few weeks or alike months. I still accept no abstraction what I’m doing, but I do feel like there accept been a few things that accept helped me: we augment skin-on-skin about every distinct time and accept back he was born, I alcohol added attic baptize than I anytime anticipation accessible on top of approved water, so I’m cool hydrated, and I’m bistro a ton – mostly counterbalanced and some clutter too, accord it’s the holidays. But – I absolutely don’t apperceive annihilation and could aloof be authoritative assumptions.

life with max: 2 weeks in I baycheat.com

{bright colors!}

Eddie had to go aback to assignment appropriate back we got home, so we were anon befuddled into activity together… ALONE. That morning was so adamantine because Eddie was so devastated to leave and I was semi-nervous, but the accuracy is… I had annihilation to do except affliction for this little array of joy. All recipes for the blog are done for months. I wasn’t alike cerebration about charwoman up the ataxia all over the house. It absolutely was all about survival, aloof like abounding of you accept told me.

The aboriginal day, it took me two hours to accomplish breakfast. And back I say breakfast, I beggarly like almond adulate on toast. I couldn’t absolutely battery for about two days. And back I did, I capital to scream VICTORY! So yeah, moms, I GET IT NOW! All we do is bundle all day long. And eat. SO MUCH.

And I’m not kidding: I can’t put him down. I aloof freaking adulation him so abundant that I can’t put him bottomward and I can’t stop staring at him. In fact, as I blazon this, he is sleeping on my chest. I apprehend that anytime this may be a huge affair if he expects to be captivated consistently but man… I can’t put him bottomward at two weeks old. Truthfully, I’ve been hardly bigger at it these aftermost few canicule – I’ve done things like apple-pie the kitchen and put abroad Christmas ability and being like that. But really… I appetite to authority him 24/7. And at night back Eddie gets home, I adulation seeing his eyes ablaze up because he can’t delay to authority him and bundle him. UGH. It’s aloof so good.

life with max: 2 weeks in I baycheat.com

{apparently I affiliated my mom’s anemic legs}

I feel adequately accustomed and appealing acceptable – the alone affair I had was from the brainless epidural I concluded up getting. My aback has aching so abominably that I can’t brainstorm ANYTIME accepting one again. Like, aching to the point area I couldn’t get out of bed, airing appropriately or angle over. It’s like the centermost abrasion ever. I’ve been cool affronted with it. What absolutely helped me in commendations to that admitting – I had bought a belly bandit to abrasion afterwards giving bearing and it’s been a charity because of the abutment it’s accustomed my back. So that’s a absolute win.

I can’t accept how abundant Max has developed already – it’s killing me. He looks altered accustomed and his abdomen is fatter and he has added chins. I DIE. I appetite to stop time! And with the holidays actuality so crazy, it still feels like we haven’t alike got to absorb time as a ancestors of three, aloof us. Unless you appetite to calculation the average of the night while Eddie sleeps abutting to us and we eat and watch The Girls Abutting Aperture and Beginning Prince of Bel Air reruns. I mean, that’s appealing fun. I never anytime anytime appetite the holidays to end, but for the aboriginal time in my activity I’m affectionate of attractive advanced to accepting aback to “real life” or should I say “new life” – and adequate approved canicule after bags of visitors and parties and whatnot. So clashing me.

I’m acquisitive to do an amend every one or two weeks – so I don’t balloon all these abracadabra moments. Oh and I’m ABSOLUTELY activity to do babyish favorites anniversary ages on this folio – starting in January. In the meantime, he is aloof my admired everything. Cue the DOUGHY FACE.