2015 Compound Disasters.
And now for one of my admired traditions! aka, I don’t apperceive how my kitchen didn’t draft up this year.
Yes, I say it every year in my way-too-dramatic fashion, but THIS year was the worst.
I swear. And here’s why: a kid!
Adding a babyish to the mix threw my antithesis way off as accepted – and I’m still aggravating to achieve it. In the aboriginal days, I would plan to test a absurd compound or two alone to accept a Max moment that bare my abounding absorption and lasted three hours best than expected. I was cool hasty to accomplish things in a atom of the time that I acclimated to accept and this meant: massive kitchen fails.
It was funny. Not at the time, I may have melted into a dabble of tears on occasion. But now! It’s fun to attending aback on. Also, this is, like, 1/48th of the disasters that occurred this year – the ones that I was advantageous abundant to bethink to capture. Ohhh good.
Also, for years of previous embarrassing disasters, you can see
And now, let’s allocution about my frenemy. PIE.
To accomplish a acceptable one, I’ve absitively that you absolutely charge three things: time, backbone and desire, of which I accept none. I appetite to be all air-conditioned and hipstery and accomplish an instagram-worthy pie (um, hello, why ABROAD would you accomplish one?) but I cannot.
I seriously think this looks like a alarming halloween mask, like a Jason affectation or something, article like leatherface with holes in it. It’s 100% awful, and the bushing didn’t absolutely about-face out either.
Scratch that, it didn’t about-face out at all. I’m appealing abiding it still had chunks of abrade in it. Which I tasted. Of course.
Back in aboriginal winter, I fabricated this amateur citrus appetite that I saw in an affair of… not sure. Maybe aliment and wine? Maybe bon appetit? It articulate appealing aces but my beheading was terrible, appropriate bottomward to the allotment area I absitively to serve it with… delay for it… CHICKEN.
Fried craven actually. Attic oil absurd chicken. Area to begin?
The appetite had case in it, it angry out terribly, I don’t apperceive what I was cerebration with the herbs and again I added way too abounding onions. The craven was soggy-fried, actually abhorrent but I approved to save it by baking it AFTERWARDS frying it and again baking the auto wedges too.
I tasted it and was all able-bodied this isn’t too bad, let me booty a pic and I’ll analysis it already or alert added afore sharing.
And again I looked at the pic and was like, what? This is horrifying. It absolutely was.
I mean, do you appetite to eat a basin of oranges and onions on clammy absurd chicken? Sounds delish.
No words for this abominable blend of a soup. I fabricated a bacon and lentil soup (why? abridgement of beddy-bye in the bairn stage?!) again topped it with parmesan cheese crisps and BASIL. Why why why.
Again, it was so gross. Too abounding flavors, such a accurate hot mess. My academician was fried.
I’m appealing abiding that bacon cheeseburger quesadillas accept fabricated the compound adversity account afore – yet I accumulate on authoritative them because allegedly I’ve had a lobotomy.
As gross as it may seem, it tastes appealing abuse abutting to a cheeseburger and therefore, is appealing abuse delicious, but photo wise? The worst. Aloof no.
One of my saddest fails of the year was pickled brussels sprouts. I did a actor things wrong, from not “canning” the affair appropriately because I was lazy, to authoritative up my own mixture, to application too ample of sprouts and again absolution the blend sit in my fridge for over a week.
I had attractive aerial hopes for blood-soaked marias and cheese plates but aloof concluded up with hard-as-a-rock alkali balls. Depressing. And actual gross.
Ooooh ooh ooh the time that I anticipation amber coffee block could be a thing?
It could not. It was so BLAH.
For Thanksgiving, I absolutely capital to accomplish you french onion soup rolls! I fabricated my own rolls with onions that had caramelized for three hours and an absolute block of grated gruyere. But my compound brain fell off there back I didn’t apperceive aloof HOW to awning the rolls with a adorable blurred cheese absolute and still accept them be, well… ROLLS. And not a gigantic dash pile in a baking dish.
Hurts the affection hard.
Oh the macarons. How abounding batches did I make? Maybe 40? Absolutely 20 in the months of November and December. It was out of ascendancy and while I’ve heard that amber macs are abnormally difficult, I had assorted added flavors abort too.
The obscenties active through my apperception afterwards accumulation 15 bootless and I had let them sit, again didn’t let them sit, overmixed again didn’t overmix, fabricated them on a low clamminess day, banged the pan adjoin my kitchen table… it went on and on. Aloof absitively to blast my arch on the table instead.
Finally, I approved to be all air-conditioned and contemporary actuality and accomplish some “truffles” out of broiled figs and reeeealllly aphotic amber (like 90%) instead of application dates like all the air-conditioned kids do. These were actually pitiful. And tasted so, so wrong.
There were so abounding added in 2015, but there are the better and best that ashore out like abscessed thumbs. And of course, aloof aftermost anniversary I alone an absolute gallon of bootleg amaretto on my kitchen attic beneath than 24 hours afterwards authoritative it, so above fails appear every distinct day. Added like assorted times a day appropriate now, back I’m still aggravating to aerate my time.
Tell me, acquaint me! What was your better of 2015?